Cutting Your Guest List

As you create your wedding budget, you may be dismayed to find that you have too many ideas and not enough money to see them all to fruition. If you're not willing to give up the fancy wedding favors or the real old fashioned photo booth or the horse drawn carriage, there's another option open to you. I want to warn you, though, that it's not an easy one.

One of the easiest ways to save money without sacrificing luxury is to cut your guest list. Cutting your guest list can seem like a painful idea at first...one to avoid at all costs. But the reality is that many of the people traditionally invited to weddings don't particularly care if they're invited...or they care about as much as you care whether they'll show up. I'm talking about your mom's tennis partner, your boss, your third cousin that you haven't seen since you were growing up, and your sister's new boyfriend of three weeks.

As much as you feel somewhat obligated to invite everyone under the sun to your wedding, recognize that cutting your guest list can mean the difference between having the fancy (albeit smaller) wedding you want and giving up all the things you've dreamed of since you were a girl. Here are a few hints that will help you pare down your guest list without offending anyone who really matters to you.

Go through your guest list and ask yourself:

• Have I seen this person in the last 12 months?
  
• Have I spoken with this person in the last 6 months?
  
• Did I send this person a Christmas card last year?

Then look at your guest list again with these thoughts in mind:

• Don't invite your parent's friends, particularly if you don't know them very well.
• Don't invite old high school or college friends that you know you'll never see again.
  
• Don't invite second and third cousins.
  
• Don't invite business associates (unless of course, it's your boss).
  
• Don't invite children.
  
• Don't allow single people (those without "significant others") to bring a date.
  
• Don't invite people just because you were invited to their wedding. If you've lost touch with them... don't feel obligated to invite them to your wedding.

Of course, if you'd like to invite children or your sister's new sweetheart, then by all means do so! These are not rules; rather, they are recommendations meant to help you afford the wedding you really want.

Click to read more ways to keep your wedding budget under control.

Choosing a Caterer

Of all the responsibilities brides- and grooms-to-be have to handle, choosing a caterer is one of the most vital and one of the most enjoyable ones. Why is that? Once you've narrowed down a list of potential caterers, you will usually get a chance to sample the dishes they specialize in. In fact, this is one of the duties grooms-to-be usually like best!

But slow down -- before you get to the tasting stage with your wedding caterer, you have to find the right one. And before you can find the right one, it's important that you study up a little on the ins and outs of wedding catering. Here are some things you should know before jumping into the world of wedding catering feet first:

• As far as expenses and wedding budgets go, your wedding catering or food bill is typically your largest expense, coming in at 45% to 50% of most wedding budgets. So choose your caterer carefully! Spend plenty of time with your caterer talking about your budget, the style of reception you'd like (i.e. buffet, food stations, sit down dinner or cocktail reception) and the types of food that you'd like to serve.

• Don't hesitate to check references. Many brides ask for references and receive them, but never call. Make at least TWO reference phone calls before you settle on a particular caterer. Don't by shy -- remember, newlyweds love to talk about their wedding!

• Service is almost as important as food when it comes to choosing a wedding caterer. Be sure to ask any prospective caterers about the ratio of servers to guests at a typical wedding. This can vary depending on the type of reception (seated dinner versus buffet) and the types of food being served, but it's nice to have at least one server per eight guests.

• Be sure to ask about the dinnerware or china they will provide, if any. Some caterers provide food, but work with the flatware and serving trays provided by the reception venue. Others do bring dinnerware and more with them, but it may not be as nice as that provided by the reception venue. Ask to see samples to make sure that their place settings compliment the rest of your wedding decor.

• Find out what decorations are included in the caterer's price. Ask to see pictures of their table displays. Some caterers that do buffets or food stations will include floral arrangements and other decorations. Other caterers do amazing and artful things with the food itself, like carved squashes or melon baskets. Even if such things haven't come up yet, ask for what you want. The worst the a prospective caterer can say is "Sorry, we aren't equipped to do that."

Click for more advice on choosing a caterer or choosing a baker

Creating a Wedding Registry

Let's face it -- creating a wedding registry is probably one of the hardest items on your wedding planning checklist. After all, making a huge list of what you wanted for Christmas or your birthday was cute when you were five, but it doesn't seem so cute when you reach adulthood and are about to be married. You may feel slightly or even entirely uncomfortable creating a wedding registry because it seems like just another gift grab.

To register or not to register
The good news is that you don't have to create a wedding registry if you don't really want to. You will more than likely still get plenty of gifts without one, and you may even find you receive more cash gifts. Don't feel obligated, but do expect that hordes of relatives will approach your family and friends to ask where you're registered or what you'd like to receive.

But if you're on the fence about the whole thing, remember that registering is as much for your guests' benefit as it is for your own. Your family may know what you and your spouse-to-be need, but your childhood friend who hasn't seen you in a few years probably won't have any idea what you want. Registering gives them guidelines, and makes shopping less of an ordeal for them.

Creating your wedding registry
With that in mind, register at a few stores that offer merchandise at different price points. Never ever ever pack your registry with high-priced items! While some of your guests may be well off enough to afford a big splurge, many others will be operating on a budget. It's fine to register at a high-end retailer, but be sure that you also register at a retailer that offers lower-priced merchandise too. In this way you leave it to your guests to decide how much they want to spend.

Variety is not all the spice of life; it's also the spice of your gift list. Be sure there is something on it for everyone's budget...and for everyone's tastes. For every guest who is content to buy you pots and pans, there will be another who would rather give you something fun and frivolous. Even before you make your registry, take inventory of what you have and then itemize what you need.

Use the grapevine
The next question is how to get the word out. The only polite way to let guests know what you want involves a small-scale form of vital marketing. Tell your close family and friends where you are registered, and then let them do the talking. Your guests will reach out to the special people in your life when it comes time to buy a gift, so you don't have to do a thing beyond that. The information gets passed along without your breaking any etiquette rules.

Gifts? No thanks.
Even if you don't want gifts or would prefer cash, never ever ever say this on your wedding invitations or wedding web site. That's considered tremendously gauche. Remember that a gift is gratuitous, and as such the right to give or not to give belongs to the giver, not the recipient. If you really would like guests to make charitable contributions instead, register with the I Do Foundation, which will let them do just that. If they insist on giving you a memento of your big day, accept it graciously. The gift is as much for the giver as it is for you.